2019..been a long time

Happy New Year 2019!

a lot has changed in the past few years. N left while living down in Huntington Beach. said he needed a night away (which had never happened in the 14.5 years previously). during the night he changed his cell phone #, stopped answering any emails and basically disappeared. I went to his work parking lot a couple days later to try to talk to him about what was going on.. we has a lease in both our names, all his stuff was still at the apartment ect.
what did he do? called the cops on me, had me escorted off the property and banned from South Coast Plaza. i'm not Jerry Springer (no offense) so that was it. a sign for sure. the ultimate ghosting of someone.
talked to the apartment manager about the situation. my bro came down. packed up my stuff (left a ton of stuff that was "ours" & went to return my work pass. in the 1 hour I was gone he came in & took hooka cat away. obviously watching the apartment as it was the only time in 5 days I left. as horrible as him leaving, taking her without any conversation broke me. packed up Weezie, Tim & Samson and went back to Washington..much to my dismay as I LOVED Huntington Beach & didn't want to leave at all. with his unwillingness to have any type of civil conversation & still having access to the apartment I had no choice. hardest decision I've ever made. had to leave sweet Meeko since he wasn't technically my cat, but I woulda have taken him if I could,

result..
Meeko died about a month or so later after having to go back to his horrible living situation.(his owners had a dog, kid & another on the way, but couldn't handle the cat they had before all that??)  so put him in a warehouse with no love. sweetest cat too!
Hooka died as well. not sure when, how or why. that I have to file in a closed drawer in my mind as it's too painful to think about. I know she would have lived longer with me..i know that!

N talked to me on the phone 1 time a couple months after then nothing...after 14.5 years

his parents never reached out either.

spent the last 3.5 years trying to deal with it all..the questions, answers ect
he's moved on as his girlfriend enjoys posting on her FB page (pretty much the same pictures we've had on the blog for years) bizarre is the only word I can think of to type.

back in Seattle now. trying to figure out a career for the next 20-25 years.
would move back to HB in a heartbeat. dealing with the anger that he took that choice away from me has been one of the hardest things. (other than Hooka & Meeko)

i'm an adult and not into drama. I understand people "fall out of love" and can have a mature discussion about that, but that was never presented as an option. he just ran away from me & started up with someone else. was he cheating? was he on drugs? I've heard things from people but I truly have no idea. I was that blind in our relationship I suppose.

lessons learned.
would I like some closure/answers? of course, who wouldn't (man or woman) after such a long time together. but I highly doubt i'll ever get that so...
onward & upward. Hadn't blogged about it but feel the need to release it now. Weezie has pass on recently, but Samson & Tim are still doing well.