Bullies & Bullied...

*i had a hard time deciding to post this. maybe it will help someone in a similar situation. i don't often get too deep here, but i felt this side of the situation has been neglected in the mainstream media*

i was bullied, but i've got a little different take on it...my bully was a BOY, not girl. i've seen so much online about bulling, with the recent suicides lately. everything i read talks about boy to boy or girl to girl. what about boy to girl??? that's a much tougher one to wrap your head around.

sure, girls are bitchy, mean, selfish & cruel. but they are the "same" as me. i was bullied by a boy. it started freshman year &ended when i went to a different HS for my junior & senior years. it started on the school bus. a horrible boy (same age) decided that i was going to be the "One". the One he would put down in public, attack with words. names DO hurt you..i don't care what people say about sticks & stones. if i had been physically hurt, not only would it have been much easier to deal with emotionally, but i definitely could have had him in trouble for that. the hurtful comments are hard to prove, without backup (especially if everyone else is laughing along with him).

oh, he was a fatass boy. an ugly one at that who had probably been picked on at his grade school & was just looking for someone to attack. it became me. i had to ride that damn bus every day to & from school. i made friends with older kids, to possibly acquire a ride home, so i would have 1 afternoon of peace. i found out much later, after leaving the school, he had started all kinds of horrible rumors about me in the guys locker room. a place i have no defense. it was horrible & included a nickname i will NEVER say.

some of my friends laughed about it. i guess they thought they should join in, so he didn't attack them. i had a really hard time those 2 years at school, socially. once i left, it was like going to heaven (no pun that BOTH schools were catholic).

so what do you say in this type of situation? anyone? no one said anything to me. no one stood up for me, especially when it happened in front of their face. what doesn't kill you, right? i grew strong, strong with hatred for him. i still have it. the buddhism sort of helps, but deep wounds are much harder to deal with than road rage. karma will prevail..has for me with a couple other folks so far.

after we graduated, i had the unfortunate experience of running into fatass again. he had lost weight and thought he looked good. he actually had the balls to say hi. i looked at him & told him he'd made my life hell. i didn't even want him in my line of sight. he said, "sorry but since i was picked on i picked on you." WTF kinda crap is that? pick on a friggin boy you pussy ass. but no, you pick on a girl. a girl who was just starting to figure herself out, starting to make new friends, starting to become her own. you broke her down for 2 years!! i still wish i would have left right away, but thank god i'm smart enough to get the hell out of crap, it may take a little longer sometimes, but i do it.

because of this experience, i always make a point to reach out to the person without all the friends (work or social). i give everyone a fresh start. i don't listen to workplace gossip or engage in it.

if you are a boy bulling a girl..what is wrong with you? knock that shit off right now! talk to her in private, become her friend! apologize right away, don't wait until it's years later and too late to make amends.


V said...

Great post! I think sharing your experience is very important. I am sorry for all of it and I wish it hadn't happened to you. I wish I had been stronger and told them all to stuff it. Bullying is never right and is inexcuseable and too many people get away with it. The silver lining to this cloud is that it helped make you the compassionate person you are today. :)

HB Livin' said...

awww thanks. it was such an odd bully situation..he's such a fucktard! i'm just glad i had u guys to hang with!